in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
