you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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