From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
