He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
