no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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