Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
