Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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