dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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