do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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