Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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