dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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