Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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