Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
