i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
