I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
