We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
