I think I am morally bankrupt
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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