I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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