Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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