just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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