she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
