If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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