So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
