Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
