Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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