tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's just like the Real World with babies
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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