brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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