I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
