im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
