I wanna passion pit in your ass
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
