Me. At least after what I've been through.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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