I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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