Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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