After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
