I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
