Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
