eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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