If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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