happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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