I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When are your genitals available?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
