toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
