After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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