He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize