why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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