he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize