She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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