Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
