HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
