i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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