We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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