Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
