How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
