Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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