the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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