YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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