when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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