please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
