you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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